Understanding Ambiguous Loss: Coping Strategies for Seniors

Written By: Discovery Senior Living
Understanding Ambiguous Loss: Coping Strategies for Seniors

According to Alzheimer's Disease International, someone in the world develops dementia every three seconds. By 2030, 78 million people worldwide could struggle with dementia.

Losing a loved one to dementia can trigger a unique type of grief: ambiguous loss. You may feel their absence, even though your loved one is still alive. Other situations can trigger ambiguous grief as well.

What is ambiguous grief, and how can you cope? Read on to find out!

Ambiguous Loss Definition

The term ambiguous loss refers to a lack of closure and information regarding the loss of a loved one. There are two core types: physical and psychological loss.

You may experience ambiguous grief if a loss is:

  • Not clearly defined
  • Not easily recognizable
  • Unresolved
  • Lacking an endpoint

For example, if your loved one has dementia, they may begin forgetting who you are. You might feel that you've lost the person you once knew.

If your loved one loses the ability to engage in meaningful conversation, you may feel like you're talking to a stranger. These experiences can cause complex emotions similar to grief.

Changes to a person's behavior, personality, and cognitive abilities can trigger ambiguous grief. These changes can cause a state of ambiguity that leaves you feeling:

  • Helpless
  • Guilty
  • Sad
  • Frustrated

According to the National Library of Medicine, dementia caregivers who experience higher levels of pre-death grief have a higher risk of health complications post-death. This includes a higher prevalence of grief, stress, and depression before the loss of a family member.

Caregivers aren't the only ones at risk of ambiguous grief. Seniors can also experience this form of grief, including those who:

  • Lost a spouse or loved one
  • Have a chronic condition
  • Are divorced or estranged

Types of Grief

Physically ambiguous grief is when a person is physically absent but psychologically present. Situations that cause this type of grief include:

  • Missing persons
  • Immigration or migration
  • Separation or divorce
  • Military deployment
  • Giving a child up for adoption
  • Abandonment

These situations can cause feelings of ongoing attachment and uncertainty. The lack of closure can cause a lingering sense of loss.

Psychologically ambiguous grief occurs when a loved one is psychologically absent but physically present. In these cases, the emotional or psychological presence of a person is altered. This can cause a sense of grief due to a changed relationship.

Situations that cause psychologically ambiguous grief include:

  • Severe mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, etc.)
  • Addiction
  • Emotional distance or estrangement
  • Traumatic brain injury
  • Dementia

Coping With Ambiguous Loss

Everyone processes grief differently. Explore a few different techniques for coping with ambiguous loss to determine what works best for you.

Recognize and Validate Your Loss

Closure is an important part of the grieving process. When a loved one dies due to known causes, we can comprehend the loss. Death is definite.

Ambiguous loss, however, doesn't offer this closure. As a result, we lose our sense of control.

Instead of trying to ignore or suppress your emotions, recognize and accept them. It's normal to feel complex and oftentimes difficult emotions in response to loss. Give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling.

Acknowledging your feelings can help you feel empowered, improving your emotional well-being. Validate your feelings by:

  • Writing them down
  • Talking to friends or loved ones
  • Exploring therapy or counseling

Consider how your life has changed due to your loved one's absence. Nothing is too small. Once you're done, share this list with someone to validate your feelings.

Don't compare how you're feeling to someone else's emotional experience. Avoid minimizing your grief, even if the situation didn't include a death.

Consider Ceremonies

Remember, an ambiguous loss doesn't always offer closure. When there's a physical death, a community commonly gathers together. They lend support to one another, share memories, and pay tribute to the person they lost.

Planning your own ceremonies can offer therapeutic benefits and a sense of closure. Consider:

  • Donating money or time
  • Planting a tree in their honor
  • Writing a letter to your loved one
  • Hosting a remembrance ceremony
  • Engaging in activities they loved

Focus on Self-Care

Engaging in self-care can strengthen emotional health in seniors. Improving your emotional resilience can make navigating grief easier. Try:

  • Exercising
  • Relaxing
  • Pursuing personal interests
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Spending time with friends
  • Eating healthy

Visit your local senior living community's events calendar for upcoming activities. Spending time among other seniors can reduce your risk of social isolation and help you grieve.

Seek Senior Grief Support

You don't have to work through your grief alone. Seek senior grief support through friends, family members, and other members of your community.

Talking to others can help you process your emotions before moving forward. Tell someone if you're feeling overwhelmed or alone instead of isolating yourself.

According to the World Health Organization, about one in four older people experience social isolation, which can cause:

  • An increased risk of anxiety and depression
  • An increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors
  • Cognitive decline and memory issues
  • Poor sleep quality
  • Difficulty regulating emotions
  • Weakened immune system
  • Increased risk of inflammation and chronic pain

Build a support system through your local senior living community. You can spend time with other seniors who understand what you're going through. Try to learn from their stories and experiences.

You can also explore therapeutic approaches, such as:

  • Family therapy
  • Support groups
  • Individual counseling

Build Resilience

Building resilience can improve emotional health in seniors. Try:

  • Remaining adaptable and open-minded
  • Maintaining strong social connections
  • Developing new skills
  • Exploring new interests

Use mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. Activities that can help you remain emotionally grounded include meditation and breathing exercises. Explore your senior living community's wellness program for classes.

Begin Processing Your Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous loss can cause significant psychological and emotional challenges if you try to deal with it alone. Instead, reach out to your community. Relying on a support system can make the process easier.

Discover Prairie Hills Tipton, a senior living community where residents feel cared for and safe. We offer personalized care plans designed to meet each resident's needs.

Enjoy freshly prepared meals, cozy living spaces, and engaging activities. Contact us now to schedule a tour.

Related Posts